January 2019 Diary

This post is a telling of my life in January 2019. I discuss my weight loss goal, the bananas nature of my work life, and some personal joys. This is a conversation, so I welcome you to reach out to me with your own stories and memories.

Cultivate: to foster the growth of; to improve by labor, care, or study

Hello, friends!

I want to give a little catch up on me since January is officially wrapping up. I’ve decided it would be fun to have these conversational type posts because, well, I don’t want to lose the feeling we’re having a conversation.

I’m starting to write and publish foundational content for my blog, and those posts don’t get to be as easy breezy as me typing away with no structure. I give play by plays of my life on Twitter (because Twitter), but I know there are people that don’t have Twitter or for some reason haven’t followed me (it’s coo, it’s coo – here’s my link). This is a way for me to talk to everyone on every platform because we all come here.

And, I mean, I want to hear from you too. I want this to be a conversation. Get yourself a snack and a beverage, and let’s talk about us. Girl, do we have some catching up to do.

“Girl Look at That Body”

Weight and Figure

Let me tell you one of my goals. It’s cheesy and cliche and not a resolution for the new year or anything – it just worked out this way, I promise.

I want to lose 10 pounds by March 31. I knowww.

This is a goal I started in back in October, so it’s not a resolution. I touched on my weight fluctuation in my A Look Back at 2018: My Year of Broken Hearts and Broken Dreams post, but for those that missed out, I lost four pounds between October and November. This is why I set my goal of 10 pounds in three months.

I wasn’t doing any working out at the time, only tracking my food. I gained the weight back during the holidays because holidays, but I wasn’t too concerned about it. I figured getting back to my routine would turn things around. Plus, I got a gym membership and was starting to hit the elliptical all the time.

But tell me why now that I’ve given myself a deadline to lose the 10 pounds, I can’t seem to get a pound off of me.

I’m working out a lot and eating better food, but that scale is really testing me. Why is the weight loss I was achieving a few months ago is suddenly eluding me? I know muscle weighs more than fat, but there is no way I put on four pounds of muscle in one month of doing cardio, ya know? And, I mean, I stopped going by the scale a long time ago in favor of waist measuring, but I was feeling like I packed on too much weight.

I dunno though. The scale isn’t doing much dropping, yet my body is definitely looking different. I feel like I look slimmer in my shoulders and arms, and I’ve taken a half inch off my waist. I wore my denim jacket I wore on New Year’s Eve for the first time since over the weekend, and I immediately noticed it fit me much looser than it had a few weeks ago. Something is going right.

I’m not going to put all my hope on achieving that 10 pound lose. What matters is I’m healthy and confident. If that comes with a five pound drop and some insane toning up, it works for me.


I received some wonderful news this past Saturday! I have to rewind a bit for it to make sense though.

See, I started having some brutal back problems in early October. I always had a degree of back pain, but whateves. I didn’t think much of it, which was a mistake. The pain got to the point I would get home from work and get straight into bed.

I made an appointment with my mom’s chiropractor, and it turned out my back was fuuucked. It was a problem that had been building up for a long time, and it had gotten to a point where it couldn’t be ignored. I’ve had to change the way I sleep,  stop running (hence the gym membership), monitor my sitting and movement at work, avoid any lifting or heavy exertion, do assigned stretches, and stay out of the pole studio. It’s been great.

I’ve been going in on a regular basis since October, and I’m finally at a turning point. I stopped being in pain in early December, but I was still in limbo where exerting myself would turn around all the progress I’d made.

But here we are, and I have permission to start dong arm and back workouts as long as it’s low weight and high reps. I did my first back workout on Sunday, and even with low, low weight (because your girl is weak), I was exhausted the entire rest of the day. I’m ecstatic to have made progress regardless.

Your back is obvi important, but you don’t realize how important until your life is limited by it. I know it’s going to be tiring at first, but it all means I’m close to getting back to my business as usual with new, healthy life changes.

“Work, Work, Work, Work, Work, Work”

The Ol’ 9-5

Work came out the gate real insane this year. Like, it did not need to come for me that hard, but it did.

I can’t tell you guys all the outright bananas shenanigans that happen at my job for my own privacy and professionalism, but, like, I feel like I’m in a workplace TV drama sometimes. My industry should not be this hectic. Emotions and tension are high in the whole company. There have been change ups every week since the year started. Things will hopefully level over the next few months, but we’ll see.

Despite all the insane changes in direction, I’ve gotten opportunity on opportunity because of the way events unfolded. I’m stacking my resume big time in big ways. It has opened doors for me that wouldn’t have been opened otherwise, so the chaos has its blessings. I can’t really elaborate too much on any of this, but work has been at the forefront of my mind this month; It would be disingenuous to not mention it at all.

Life Coaching

Your girl made moves toward her life coaching dreams this month! I was talking to one of my friends early in the month about our goals and the energy we want to carry into 2019. We were vibing so hard, and I was musing to myself how she has exactly the energy I want in my life.

She has energy that doesn’t want to settle and is looking for new ways to cultivate.

We had another conversation maybe a week later, and I found myself reflecting on it over the next day. I felt like I was being nudged by the universe, like it was placing an opportunity in my lap, and it was up to me to open my mouth.

I didn’t think about it once the idea caught fire in my brain. I asked her if I could be her life coach.

My passion is helping people achieve their goals, and she has goals she wants to achieve. I have no concept of what I’m doing, but she agreed to be my client zero. She gets the accountability and sounding board she wants, and I get the chance to feel out the coaching space.

It’s totally lowkey for both of us, but, like, I already feel like I learned a lot from our first session about the kind of thought and behind the scenes work I’ll need to do. This thing I want is no longer this shimmering illusion just out of reach. I’ve touched it and am giving it shape.

“You Like My Hair? Gee, Thanks, Just Bought it”


My. Hair. Is Dark. AF. So, I mean, I dyed my hair in November. I let my Twitter loves see it, but I didn’t exactly get a photoshoot opportunity because holidays.

I’ve always been blonde and done an ombre to a icy, vanilla blonde, but, like, I’ve been dying my hair since I was 15. I turn 24 this year (as if 23 wasn’t traumatic enough). My hair was a sandy to mouse-y blonde when I started, but those roots have been getting real dark over the years.

I decided to dye my hair to my natural color in a post-breakup fit of wanting to reconnect with myself and redefine the standards of beauty I’ve had all my life. In my brain, blonde = beautiful, and that’s just the way it was. I was in my hairdresser’s chair on the verge of tears because I was having such anxiety about changing my hair color. It was something I wanted to do, but I was so terrified at the same time.

Oh, my friends, when she washed out the dye and dressed my hair up, I fell absolutely in love. It brought out the color of my cheeks, and my eyes popped. It was like a missing puzzle piece my whole appearance was missing.

But by design, the dark hair faded to my actual natural color. I was already hooked though. I loved the way I looked with cascades of dark hair too much. I went back to the salon this weekend and we went even darker this time. I’m just… well, I’m sexy as fuck.

I look so different, and I absolutely love it. I’ve always had weird reservations about dying my hair any color but blonde even when I was a kid. It feels like I’ve shed this artificial limitation I’ve put on myself, and I’m so happy for it.


One last personal piece I want to tuck in here is my gardening. I bought seeds and bulbs a few months back to have a garden this spring. I planted my tulips in the fall because that’s apparently what you do it, and they’ve sprouted! I have eight tulips sprouts. I’m hoping a get a few more popping up, but I can get a nice little bouquet from these babies. I’ve always loved tulips because I’m basic af, so I feel this white girl pride I’m growing my own.

My tulips sprouting and my back improving gave me the motivation to get some of my seeds planted. I bought two green house trays with seed pockets to start my jalapenos, habaneros, spearmint, and sunflowers. I have the pots to get my onions started, but I was lazy and didn’t get to them. We have four garden boxes in the yard nature has had her way with the past, oh, four or five years, so I spent some time pulling weeds last weekend as well.

It’s not all too impressive yet, but I’m stoked to have my own peppers, vegetables, and flowers I gave life too. I had a reading done last year that told me I need to connect with nature more to realign with myself, and, like, I couldn’t help but think of that while I was taking care of my little seeds. It was so simple, yet I was so happy.

Your Turn

So, like, how was your January? What cool stuff did you do, where did you go, how are your resolutions going, are you still deciding on one, what’s going on? Tell me all about it in the comments or let me know on any of my social media.

Posts You May Have Missed This Month:

A Look Back at 2018: My Year of Broken Hearts and Broken Dreams

The Trick You Need to Start Mastering Time Management

The 7 Reasons Your New Year’s Resolution Will Fail

119 Goals You Can Set Today for a Better Life